CLASSIFIEDS

FOUND

One glass shoe, abandoned following a royal ball. Seeking mysterious woman with unusually small feet and poor time management. Proof of matching footwear required.

WANTED

Two vials of aqualunite. Uncut preferred. I can detect fake magenta “sand.” Will accept lightly enchanted. No questions asked, please.

HELP WANTED

Water Elemental needed to purify village well. Previous experience with curses preferred. Must be comfortable around frogs. Village council insists frogs are unrelated to water quality issues.

DWARF PROBLEM?

Call the White Elf Crazed Removal Service!
Raiding parties, tunneling disputes, unauthorized fortifications and axe-related disagreements handled discreetly.
We deal with the Crazed so you don’t have to.

FOR SALE

Enchanted medallion. Previous owner disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Probably unrelated. 12 silver or best offer.

WANTED

Bridge keeper. Previous occupant turned to stone. Duties include toll collection and discouraging goats.

WANTED

Rune recovery specialists. Experience with broken magic preferred. Must be willing to travel. Ability to cross impossible barriers considered an asset.

FOR SALE

One slightly used tracking charm. Finds broken runes eventually. Instructions included. Pixie modifications void warranty.

LOST

Several broken runes. Last seen scattered through time and reality. If found, DO NOT ACTIVATE.

SEEKING

Professional botanist for Black Marsh expedition. Must provide own weapons. Magic users discouraged. Life insurance strongly recommended.

WANTED

Atheneum kitchen assistant. Potato-peeling experience preferred. Certain former students need not apply.

TRAVEL COMPANION NEEDED

Midnight Marsh. Must run quickly. Absolutely no splashing.

FOR HIRE

Water Wolf. Specializes in splash removal, motor surveillance, and heat-pump dragon containment. Payment in blueberries.

HEROES WANTED

Small kingdom currently experiencing dragon-related difficulties. Sword provided. Armor negotiable. Princess has specifically requested that applicants understand she does not require rescuing. Dragon situation remains unresolved.

SEEKING

Experienced curse breaker for remote castle. Symptoms include eternal sleep, aggressive roses, unusually judgmental furniture, and one tower no one remembers building. References required.

WANTED

Apprentice wizard. Must possess curiosity, discretion, and eyebrows that can withstand occasional magical discharge. Previous apprentices need not apply.

FOR SALE

Prophecy, unused. Mentions lost heir, gathering darkness, ancient power and “when the final star falls.” Could suit several kingdoms. Minor alterations available.

SEEKING

Three adventurers for simple retrieval mission. Dungeon believed abandoned. Absolutely no dragons reported in the last six months. Payment upon return.

ROOMMATE WANTED

Spacious tower, excellent views, minimal stairs if capable of flight. No knights. No princes. No hair-related access arrangements.

FOR SALE

One invisibility cloak. Excellent condition.

PERSONAL

Lonely dragon seeks companion for long flights, philosophical discussions, and sitting quietly on enormous quantities of gold. Must not be interested in “adventuring.”